Rhysography

ShortFormBlog: The 13 Most Useless College Majors (As Determined By Science)

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 14:00:53 -0700

ShortFormBlog: The 13 Most Useless College Majors (As Determined By Science):

newsweek:

1. Fine Arts

2. Drama and Theatre Arts

3. Film, Video, and Photographic Arts

4. Commercial Art and Graphic Design

5. Architecture

6. Philosophy and Religious Studies

7. English Literature and Language

8. Journalism

9. …

That’s bullshit. What makes any college major either useful or useless is what the person with that major does with it. Not a goddamn statistic.

Photo

Wed, 15 Feb 2012 12:03:12 -0800

Control. It’s something that I can’t let go of no...

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 01:50:00 -0800

Control.

It’s something that I can’t let go of no matter how hard I’ve tried. I’ve been told that being a perfection is good for some things, but I can’t think of any instance that it’s proved useful.

It’s just one big, exhausting happy-suck.

Even with these tumblr posts. Most of the time, I don’t post because I don’t want unbelievably daft and vapid to whoever is reading. And honestly, who the fuck is even reading? I’m convinced that anyone who even follows me either doesn’t go on tumblr, or just skips over my post when it grazes their dashboard.

I try too hard. I’m a control freak when I don’t have the energy to spare.

The biggest thing: I try to get it right the first time instead of just getting it done and fixing it later. It can be anything.

I don’t believe in multiple drafts of a paper or script. I should.

I can’t stand hearing ignorant people bitch and moan about shit that they shouldn’t be spending their energy on because it causes me to spend energy on them.

And not only that, I am a passive motherfucker. Okay. Passive-aggressive.

But it’s come to the point where I’ve been passive for so long, that now I’m thinking: “FUCK being polite. FUCK ALL Y’ALL.”

I think I’ve just reached a limit. Somebody hit a nerve that has been hit far too many times.

And this paper is hurting my head like a really complicated math problem.

Mama kitty makes things a little better. She usually does. Time for another visit.

I left 2011, finally, feeling free. Free from three long wasted years of self-inflicted torment and...

Sun, 01 Jan 2012 03:07:58 -0800

I left 2011, finally, feeling free. Free from three long wasted years of self-inflicted torment and anguish over a friendship that was never supposed to last.

The one thing I wish I freed myself from, though, is my unrelenting self-conscious and timid tendencies.

I want more than anything to accept the unconventional parts of myself and to eventually be proud of being someone. I want to be proud of myself.

One day.

But for now, pages. Pages at a time.

sofapizza: it begins. You know what’s really funny? [To...

Thu, 29 Dec 2011 00:12:00 -0800

sofapizza:

it begins.

You know what’s really funny? [To me, anyway.]

Ever since my brother demonstrated how he doesn’t even need to type his texts anymore with the help of Siri, I can’t help but think of our impending future, and I insist that he start working out more.

Now. Do I want a blue jumpsuit, or red?

Guy in plaid shirt says red.

What happens...

Thu, 15 Dec 2011 16:25:22 -0800

… when all the crying you’re capable of doesn’t stop the sadness?

How do I stop it?

It doesn’t make me feel better, it doesn’t release the sadness.

It just validates it.

I can’t live like this anymore.

There are certain things you can only realize when you’re...

Fri, 09 Dec 2011 22:28:01 -0800

There are certain things you can only realize when you’re home.

The memories you leave behind are gone forever. No matter how many pictures you took. No matter how many people you loved. No matter how much resentment you’ve carried from it since you left. It’s all gone.

I’ve forgotten things. I forgot all the things that I loved about home.

I left it all because I didn’t want to remember why my friendships didn’t work.

“You really do have high expectations.”

Clearly, I’ve gotten nowhere since then. I’ve spent years hating people. People who’ve moved on the moment I left their lives.

“Your personal statement actually really sucked. But that isn’t why you didn’t get into UW.”

My body has grown tired of my bitterness and harsh self-criticism.

“You didn’t get in because you didn’t want it that much.”

I can either die, or I keep leaving home. Either way, though, makes me a coward.

“She cared about you too. You just couldn’t see it, that’s all.”

It’s all gone. There are no questions. It shouldn’t follow me around anymore.

“You can move on from this. I know you can.”

That is one beautiful wedding dress, Corinne. Well...

Mon, 07 Nov 2011 20:43:17 -0800

That is one beautiful wedding dress, Corinne. Well done.

craftovision:

My DIY wedding dress! Stay tuned for a video explaining how it was made…

Shit’s trippy!

Sat, 17 Sep 2011 22:23:01 -0700

Shit’s trippy!

You know what’s funny about this picture? The first thing...

Thu, 15 Sep 2011 19:49:52 -0700

You know what’s funny about this picture?

The first thing I noticed was the announcement for BIGBANG. XD

I absolutely love DEV, though. ;D

[I just happen to love TAEYANG a wee bit more.]

God, I love these two people! :D Joe: We did a movie a long...

Sat, 27 Aug 2011 11:01:55 -0700

God, I love these two people! :D

Joe: We did a movie a long time ago called Havoc, that’s why we know each other and why we’re such good friends and one day, I thought I was really hot and I brought a copy of Julius Caesar to work and I was like “yeah, I’m reading Shakespeare”. She’s like, “oh, cool!”. We’re sitting around and I sort of read some and I thought I was hot shit. This one takes Julius Caesar and read the Mark Antony speech like flawless, like beautiful! Like she should have been on stage and I was just so floored! Do you remember what I’m talking about?
Anne: I do, I do! I’d like to thank my 8th grade English teacher who made us memorize the Mark Antony speech so I could show off in front of Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I totally was faking it by the way. I was like - oh this? Well… I totally had that memorized, I totally knew what I was doing! I was flirting with you, dude! You were so dense! That’s my game, I drop Shakespeare! [x]

FUCK YOU.

Sun, 31 Jul 2011 23:34:06 -0700

I got into a bit of a fender bender today. It was totally my fault.

His car as well as his daughter and himself were all unharmed.

That’s the most I want to say about it.

What I do want to say about is that, while I was incessantly apologetic and scared to death, he was a real asshole about it.

I’m upset because he wouldn’t give me his information because it was “my fault, my fault my fault.”

I’m very familiar with self-blame. But it sounds so much different when someone else is blaming you.

I’ve lost some of my brother’s trust, and I’ve lost a lot of respect from myself.

Not enough knives in the world could cut this self-loathing out of my gut.

Tonight, I feel like a legitimate fuck up.

I would very much like this on a t-shirt.

Tue, 26 Jul 2011 17:20:50 -0700

I would very much like this on a t-shirt.

This building is driving me into insanity.

Thu, 21 Jul 2011 01:33:17 -0700

I can’t sleep most nights.

I have no job.

I’m failing econ.

I can’t cry anywhere without having somebody see me.

My sleepless nights have been forcing me to agonize over my past actions. What I’ve done, what I shouldn’t have done, and what I should have done.

It’s so goddamn frustrating. It’s all done. Why is it still floating around me like a ghost?

I need to get away from here. This place is sucking the life out of me.

There is no life here.

More shit on my mind.

Mon, 18 Jul 2011 02:46:56 -0700

1. I decided to download the Tumblr app because I can’t sleep and I have more to say, but my roommate is asleep and I don’t feel like getting out of bed and opening my laptop.

2. I’ve been debating whether I should open a new twitter account. Not because I want to tell the world things no one gives a shit about, but because there are several people I want to follow and keep up with.

3. My iPhone’s autocorrect keeps changing “shit” to “shot” and it totally diminishes my “G” credibility.

4. I hyper-flexed my elbow. It hurts.

5. I haven’t been able to sleep for a while on account of the fact that I have way too much energy to be in bed, but I go for it anyway.

6. I did not like Chicago the film [nearly] as much as everyone else did. It got way too much recognition, and I don’t believe it deserved it. It’s nothing personal. It was enjoyable at parts, and I love the soundtrack. I just didn’t think it was Best Picture worthy.

7. I’m debating on deleting my TalkBox app. It’s cool and everything, but I don’t have any friends who use it regularly enough for me to put up with its battery draining tendencies.

8. Besides the fact that I’m considering cutting my bangs, I’m considering just going full on pixie altogether. I know for a fact, though, that I will immediately miss the long hair that I painstakingly grew out for what feels like years.

9. I miss not using my brain.

10. I have a feeling I’m going to be anxious the entire time during econ tomorrow, and I’m perpetually dreading it.

Just a couple things on my mind that I want to throw out before...

Mon, 18 Jul 2011 02:45:58 -0700

Just a couple things on my mind that I want to throw out before I go to bed.

1. This is the absolute perfect dress for a wedding I’m going to in August. Too bad I saved this from modcloth.com months ago. Probably a year a go if I’m only just wishing it weren’t that long ago.

2. I miss home.

3. I miss all my clothes.

4. I miss sewing, and I should have handed in my goddamn Apparel Design minor application last year.

5. I miss having a kitchen.

6. I’m not doing so well in econ… and I’m scared that this class is going to be the reason I go bonkers.

7. I miss seafood.

8. Indian food.

9. Real sushi.

10. Media aesthetics has got to be the most pointless class for the Film and Video Studies major ever.

11. I really want to get into more podcasts, but I can’t find any that I really like for some reason. The only podcast I listen to regularly is Slashfilmcast, and I think they’re great. If there are any podcasts like that, it’d be great to find out about them. Not specifically about films, because I get a lot of that, but just…. not boring.

12. I need to buy my DSLR now… I have the perfect wedding gift idea.

Story of my fucking life. XD tumblr-funniest: Featured at...

Sun, 19 Jun 2011 02:26:01 -0700

Story of my fucking life. XD

tumblr-funniest:

Featured at Tumblr’s Funniest Posts

Late night qualms.

Tue, 14 Jun 2011 02:21:23 -0700

I have a couple of things on my mind tonight.

Tomorrow, my little cousin is graduating from high school. On any other night, I’d talk about how her brightness and potential pull me into a deep hole of self-deprecation and perpetual darkness. But tonight, I’m not letting it consume me. Tonight, something else is swimming around in the depths of my mind.

Tomorrow night, her grandparents are picking me up to give me a ride to her graduation. This sounds irrelevant, but let me explain:

Her grandparents—my aunt and uncle— are the most difficult people I’ve ever met.

They are ignorant, inconsiderate, and horrible, disgusting people. I have never felt such contempt for anybody my entire life, let alone two. They have no respect for anybody but themselves, and they stick their noses in any business where they clearly have no god given means.

And tomorrow I have to spend what will feel like the longest car ride of my life. I don’t want to think about what they might say to me. But I know what they say will cause something fierce to grow inside me to the point where I might bash my own head against the window of the van for a way out.

It is so late… I can barely make sense of what I’m typing. But this needs to get out before it consumes me by morning.

The other thing that is bothering me to wit’s end right now is my friend Sami.

I love her to death, but she really drives me up the wall sometimes.

She always has something to say.

I am [so] apprehensive about telling her what I want to do with my Film and Video degree because she so clearly does not believe that I can make it in what I want to do.

Every goddamn chance she gets, she will ask me: “What are you going to do with your degree?”

As if it’s the oddest thing she’s ever heard of.

What really gets under my skin… is the fact that she always brings up Wong Fu Productions when she thinks of what I might be able to do.

I loved Wong Fu Productions. I’m the one who introduced her to them. But every time she tells me about how they’re expanding and how I could intern with Wong Fu or even when she brings them up when relating their activities to mine, it beats my heart to a pulp.

She doesn’t believe I can do any better.

Did it never occur to her… that maybe I want to make a name for myself? Why would I want to associate myself with something that has already been established?

No. I don’t want to work with Wong Fu Productions. I never did. I looked up to them as role models, but I never saw myself being a part of them.

The truth is, I’m apprehensive about telling anybody what I want to do with my degree because I know they’ll all look at me like I’m crazy.

I want to win an Academy Award.

That’s what I’m going to do with it. I know it’s going to be really hard. I know that my chances are slim to none. But I don’t care if it takes me my entire life— I will work toward it until I die.

I will not stop until I’m good at what I do.

I think that’s my new mantra. I really like it.

A different kind of passion. Very nice.

I'm feeling like a serious asshole tonight.

Mon, 30 May 2011 03:49:40 -0700

So let’s talk.

I spent a good chunk of my day with a dear cousin of mine today. I love her to death, but she really knows how to get to my very last nerve in the most unintentional of ways.

I’m gonna sound like a real asshole by writing this, but I really need to say it before I explode.

Sometimes I really worry for her because she is so goddamn stupid.

I absolutely detest watching movies with her because it’s like she just doesn’t have the intellectual capacity to understand and pick up on story lines. I don’t know if she just refuses to retain the information, or if she just really is stupid because there has never been ONE time that she has watched a movie and hasn’t asked me a question during, after, or WAY AFTER she’s seen it.

We were watching Bridesmaids tonight, and I was really looking forward to not only watching it, but spending time with her too. But two minutes into the movie, my patience went from abundant to none in less than two snaps. She had already asked me a question not even halfway through the first minute of the movie. An IRRELEVANT question at that: “Is that the girl you like?”

She was referring to Kristen Wiig. I hate that this pissed me the fuck off so much. I think I have a real problem. I get SO angry when people decide to watch a movie, and they don’t fucking pay attention. I get even more angry when they ask questions about important plot lines during the movie when they could just figure out themselves by watching THE GODDAMN FUCKING MOVIE.

FUCK! I feel like such an ASS whenever things like this happen because I feel like I’m the only goddamn fucking one who is bothered by it.

People don’t take me seriously when I get mad about this sort of thing, but it’s such a fucking big deal to me!

Not only that, but Bridesmaids is naturally a really raunchy movie, and almost all of the sexual jokes just went over her head. How did she get to be so unbelievably juvenile when she’s an entire year older than me? How can a twenty-one year old in this day and age not know what the word “cunt” means? Which by the way, is a word I’m not really fond of, so the fact that I had to explain it to her was really unpleasant.

She’s very Catholic, and I get that. But how the fuck do you not get out enough to hear that word ever in your life? I feel like I’m talking to a fucking eight year old whenever I talk to her.

I mean… after all these years of knowing me, she still hasn’t picked up on the fact that I fucking HATE when she talks to me while we’re watching a movie? It’s been like this from day one.

I like to actually WATCH my movies. Is that the absolute worst thing to ask for in this world? Am I cursed in a world that doesn’t respect the one thing I love the most?

Even all of this isn’t the extent of her aggravating tendencies.

When we got back to my house, we ended up watching another movie. God, what a horrible fucking mistake. It was The Invention of Lying⎯a movie I actually really enjoyed the first time around, and one I haven’t seen since then.

I explained to her before I started the movie that the movie is set in an alternate reality. I even repeated it. She said she got it. But to no avail, after about ten minutes into the movie, she asks: “So nobody in this movie lies?”

I’m not kidding. And then she says: “God they’re so mean! They don’t have to be so mean…”

… I had stated. Before the movie. That it was set in an alternate reality. Did I not?

Then there was when she insisted on watching the movies I made for my film festivals. I’m not saying my robot film was the best, because it was definitely far from it, but she actually had ask what it was about after she had seen it twice.

I was seriously insulted. Is that terrible? Is that a pompous thing to say? That I was really hurt that she couldn’t even muster up any intellectual capacity to understand that a robot was abandoned and then found by a new family?

Just that alone was enough to rot in my heart into a deep loathing and bitterness.

I felt like I failed.

I have so many things that piss me off when I know they shouldn’t.

Because who am I to feel this way about stupid shit that nobody gives a damn to even be a little mindful of?

I’ve been told that “all I need to do” is just get over myself.

But you tell me. Is that really the easiest thing to do when you probably don’t even do it yourself?

My preemptive statement for the night:

I am an asshole. I’m really not proud of it. But you shouldn’t really judge either.

This weekend, I was a winner. My team’s video entry for...

Mon, 16 May 2011 00:09:00 -0700

This weekend, I was a winner.

My team’s video entry for the recent film festival won Best Screenplay, Best Acting, and Best Picture.

Yeah, it fucking took me by surprise.

Not only did I have no faith for the video winning anything, I almost [wanted] it to win nothing to spite one of my teammates for ripping my original concept to shreds.

But about halfway through the film festival, I changed my mind.

“How shitty would it be if we came all the way here only to lose?”

They showed three out of the four entries at the festival, and they showed ours last. I almost had a heart attack when ours came up because one, I was really expecting to lose, and two, the movie started immediately after they had put it in, and it threw me for a loop since the others required menu direction.

We fucking won! Three awards, no less! Out of SIX!

Of course, all of this excitement does not come without its doubts.

“What if we had gone with my original concept? Would we still have won best screenplay? Do I have bad taste? What the hell? We won best acting? It was a cardboard robot, a douche-bag of a character, and ME! I’ve never acted well my entire life!”

BEST PICTURE?!

Jesus Christ. It’s been a whirlwind of emotion. I’ve gone from utterly ecstatic to severely conflicted in two seconds flat, back and forth all day.

A friend of mine didn’t really water down her thoughts before blurting them out, though.

“I hate to say this, but how did you guys win best acting? You’re not an actress!”

Wow. Thank you so much.

I never said I was an actress, let alone a good one, but my god. Way to knock down my already low self-esteem several more notches.

I guess it was mostly my fault, though. I kept telling them how terrible I was in the video, and as a result, I made it okay for them to say so. I always do this to myself. I need to stop.

Did we deserve the win? I really hope we did.