So let’s talk.
I spent a good chunk of my day with a dear cousin of mine today. I love her to death, but she really knows how to get to my very last nerve in the most unintentional of ways.
I’m gonna sound like a real asshole by writing this, but I really need to say it before I explode.
Sometimes I really worry for her because she is so goddamn stupid.
I absolutely detest watching movies with her because it’s like she just doesn’t have the intellectual capacity to understand and pick up on story lines. I don’t know if she just refuses to retain the information, or if she just really is stupid because there has never been ONE time that she has watched a movie and hasn’t asked me a question during, after, or WAY AFTER she’s seen it.
We were watching Bridesmaids tonight, and I was really looking forward to not only watching it, but spending time with her too. But two minutes into the movie, my patience went from abundant to none in less than two snaps. She had already asked me a question not even halfway through the first minute of the movie. An IRRELEVANT question at that: “Is that the girl you like?”
She was referring to Kristen Wiig. I hate that this pissed me the fuck off so much. I think I have a real problem. I get SO angry when people decide to watch a movie, and they don’t fucking pay attention. I get even more angry when they ask questions about important plot lines during the movie when they could just figure out themselves by watching THE GODDAMN FUCKING MOVIE.
FUCK! I feel like such an ASS whenever things like this happen because I feel like I’m the only goddamn fucking one who is bothered by it.
People don’t take me seriously when I get mad about this sort of thing, but it’s such a fucking big deal to me!
Not only that, but Bridesmaids is naturally a really raunchy movie, and almost all of the sexual jokes just went over her head. How did she get to be so unbelievably juvenile when she’s an entire year older than me? How can a twenty-one year old in this day and age not know what the word “cunt” means? Which by the way, is a word I’m not really fond of, so the fact that I had to explain it to her was really unpleasant.
She’s very Catholic, and I get that. But how the fuck do you not get out enough to hear that word ever in your life? I feel like I’m talking to a fucking eight year old whenever I talk to her.
I mean… after all these years of knowing me, she still hasn’t picked up on the fact that I fucking HATE when she talks to me while we’re watching a movie? It’s been like this from day one.
I like to actually WATCH my movies. Is that the absolute worst thing to ask for in this world? Am I cursed in a world that doesn’t respect the one thing I love the most?
Even all of this isn’t the extent of her aggravating tendencies.
When we got back to my house, we ended up watching another movie. God, what a horrible fucking mistake. It was The Invention of Lying⎯a movie I actually really enjoyed the first time around, and one I haven’t seen since then.
I explained to her before I started the movie that the movie is set in an alternate reality. I even repeated it. She said she got it. But to no avail, after about ten minutes into the movie, she asks: “So nobody in this movie lies?”
I’m not kidding. And then she says: “God they’re so mean! They don’t have to be so mean…”
… I had stated. Before the movie. That it was set in an alternate reality. Did I not?
Then there was when she insisted on watching the movies I made for my film festivals. I’m not saying my robot film was the best, because it was definitely far from it, but she actually had ask what it was about after she had seen it twice.
I was seriously insulted. Is that terrible? Is that a pompous thing to say? That I was really hurt that she couldn’t even muster up any intellectual capacity to understand that a robot was abandoned and then found by a new family?
Just that alone was enough to rot in my heart into a deep loathing and bitterness.
I felt like I failed.
I have so many things that piss me off when I know they shouldn’t.
Because who am I to feel this way about stupid shit that nobody gives a damn to even be a little mindful of?
I’ve been told that “all I need to do” is just get over myself.
But you tell me. Is that really the easiest thing to do when you probably don’t even do it yourself?
My preemptive statement for the night:
I am an asshole. I’m really not proud of it. But you shouldn’t really judge either.
