Rhysography

Fuck this movie. 

The mere first wimper of Emily Browning’s character made me fully aware of how shitty this movie was going to be. 

Now, before you chastise me for not giving this movie a chance, let me explain — I did. Coming into this week knowing I was going to watch Sucker Punch today had me wanting to go into the theatre with a fresh perspective. No research. No reviews. I gave it a fighting chance.

However, that movie was a spit to the face of my compassion. 

For the first third of the movie, the only thing wafting through my mind was: “The fuck is going on?” The script was terrible, and the acting was borderline atrocious. 

… I might have been a little too nice with that last statement. I think the overuse of the “crouching down with one hand pointed up behind you” stance speaks for itself. 

The only things that might have possibly redeemed this movie were the cinematography, the use of Bjork’s “Army of Me,” and Jena Malone’s performance. Even with that, there was absolutely no doubt of the fact that an actress can only carry shitty dialogue so far. By the way— whose idea was it to put her in a fucking nurse’s hat? 

Yeah, Zack Snyder. We get it. You have an eye for the aesthetically pleasing. I can give you that willingly because I am aware of your talent in that area. But that doesn’t mean you can put out shitty screenplays and get away with it. People will get pissed. If not by now, it’s only a matter of time. I’m onto your patterns. 

That doesn’t make you cool.

** By the way. I’m only venting. This is in no way a front to the many people who have worked on this film. After all, who am I to judge? I’m just a nobody after all. Don’t let this affect your decision in watching this movie. You are your own person. Make a choice.