“Today I am free.”
… is what I should have put up on here about a month ago. I finally beat that insufferable torture device of an antidepressant that left me lying on the cold floor of my dorm room every afternoon, praying for the trembling to stop.
I guess I should be updating a lot more than I have been, but I can never bring myself to. You see, if the universe doesn’t give a shit that all of this crap has been happening, what made me think that the six of you possible actual readers would give a shit?
Sorry, my bitter cynicism is leaking. I’m not really this pissed right now. I think I’m just trying to give you a better glimpse of how I’ve been feeling underneath all the chaos of the past couple months.
I didn’t get the job as an RA again. Again. As if I actually really had the self esteem to think I could get the job this time. I tried again. Wow.
I think I’ve come to terms with the idea of possibly having an inferiority complex, or even hardcore judgment issues. It was like being rejected from UW all over again. When does it end? This constant parasite in the back of my mind won’t stop telling me that I’m not good enough for anything. Not even a job that I honestly felt more than qualified for?
Who are they to judge whether we are good enough or not?
How are they so sure that we aren’t good enough just based on some paper and a brief once-over?
They must be some hot shit to think they have the authority to evaluate our worth.
