February 2012
2 posts
5 tags
January 2012
1 post
I left 2011, finally, feeling free. Free from three long wasted years of self-inflicted torment and anguish over a friendship that was never supposed to last.
The one thing I wish I freed myself from, though, is my unrelenting self-conscious and timid tendencies.
I want more than anything to accept the unconventional parts of myself and to eventually be proud of being someone. I want to be...
December 2011
3 posts
8 tags
What happens...
… when all the crying you’re capable of doesn’t stop the sadness?
How do I stop it?
It doesn’t make me feel better, it doesn’t release the sadness.
It just validates it.
I can’t live like this anymore.
7 tags
November 2011
1 post
September 2011
2 posts
4 tags
August 2011
2 posts
5 tags
2 tags
FUCK YOU.
I got into a bit of a fender bender today. It was totally my fault.
His car as well as his daughter and himself were all unharmed.
That’s the most I want to say about it.
What I do want to say about is that, while I was incessantly apologetic and scared to death, he was a real asshole about it.
I’m upset because he wouldn’t give me his information because it was “my...
July 2011
4 posts
7 tags
3 tags
This building is driving me into insanity.
I can’t sleep most nights.
I have no job.
I’m failing econ.
I can’t cry anywhere without having somebody see me.
My sleepless nights have been forcing me to agonize over my past actions. What I’ve done, what I shouldn’t have done, and what I should have done.
It’s so goddamn frustrating. It’s all done. Why is it still floating around me like...
12 tags
More shit on my mind.
1. I decided to download the Tumblr app because I can’t sleep and I have more to say, but my roommate is asleep and I don’t feel like getting out of bed and opening my laptop.
2. I’ve been debating whether I should open a new twitter account. Not because I want to tell the world things no one gives a shit about, but because there are several people I want to follow and keep up with.
3. My...
3 tags
June 2011
2 posts
5 tags
Late night qualms.
I have a couple of things on my mind tonight.
Tomorrow, my little cousin is graduating from high school. On any other night, I’d talk about how her brightness and potential pull me into a deep hole of self-deprecation and perpetual darkness. But tonight, I’m not letting it consume me. Tonight, something else is swimming around in the depths of my mind.
Tomorrow night, her...
May 2011
2 posts
10 tags
I'm feeling like a serious asshole tonight.
So let’s talk.
I spent a good chunk of my day with a dear cousin of mine today. I love her to death, but she really knows how to get to my very last nerve in the most unintentional of ways.
I’m gonna sound like a real asshole by writing this, but I really need to say it before I explode.
Sometimes I really worry for her because she is so goddamn stupid.
I absolutely detest...
April 2011
3 posts
Sometimes...
I have a hard time convincing myself that I’m not a loser.
5 tags
Girls are fucking bitchy.
It makes me so mad that I’m a girl sometimes. Most of the time because of that statement:
Girls are bitches.
Because it’s true! We can’t go one day without stating something that TOTALLY doesn’t matter, but we have to because it’s in our systems. It’s fucking terrible!
We cause so many problems.
Sometimes I really just wish I were a guy.
4 tags
Return to Center.
Today was my first official class of Beginning Yoga.
… I am in a class full of⎯for a lack of a better word⎯pussies.
Last week, our teacher told us to fill up the front so that people who come in late can join in the back with less distraction.
So I did just that. But there was one girl who came in before me and decided to sit in the farthest back corner anyway, setting up a second yoga...
March 2011
2 posts
3 tags
You are ___ a failure.
“Today I am free.”
… is what I should have put up on here about a month ago. I finally beat that insufferable torture device of an antidepressant that left me lying on the cold floor of my dorm room every afternoon, praying for the trembling to stop.
I guess I should be updating a lot more than I have been, but I can never bring myself to. You see, if the universe...
January 2011
1 post
November 2010
2 posts
4 tags
Eet - Regina Spektor
I got an iPhone 4 today. Not...
October 2010
6 posts
4 tags
Compensating Clocks and Oranges
I was planning on not giving a shit about how I looked today and just heading out looking like I just happened to run into my bathroom and closet before stumbling into class, and I was successful for the first half of my morning. Then I realized that I I felt way too shitty to not compensate visually.
So I curled my hair, played with some new color palettes of eyeshadow, lined my upper lash line...
6 tags
The Social Network
The fact that I find so much enjoyment out of Facebook now disturbs me. Not because it’s grossly addicting and I’m not the only one out there who is, [I’m sure of it,] but because I had no idea how much drama was involved in the creation of it.
Now, before I get stabbed and maimed for implying that The Social Network was a literal interpretation of what really happened between...
September 2010
1 post
Ridic.
So it’s DEFINITELY been a while since I’ve posted something. I’m back at school and living in a three-person suite with a KITCHEN!!! Scoreee. So awesome. My urges to bake won’t all be in vain!
Now I’m in my [single] room updating my tumblr, which has been collecting dust since my last reblog. God, I’m so bad at this blog thing. I really need to make a better...
August 2010
1 post
July 2010
2 posts
Doggy dialogue according to my friend Johnny
Dog: YO, WHAT YOU DOIN' IN MY HOOD. YOU UGLY MAN. BETTA TAKE YO FOUR PAWS AND STOP PISSIN' ON MY POLE.
*Other dog comes closer*
Dog: ... Sorry bro, I'm just messin'.
June 2010
4 posts
5 tags
Dear Meat: Dear Girls, Ladies, Women, Sisters,... →
You are beautiful. Really. Not just in the ‘inside-that-counts’ way. You are beautiful in pretty much all the ways. You perfectly complement our strengths and weaknesses with yours. Your ability to love and relate keeps the world going round, and none of us would be half the men we are without…
Goddammit. I was trying so hard to be emotionally detached. XD
5 tags
May 2010
4 posts
4 tags
Crystal Ball - Keane
This morning, I thought:...
6 tags
3 tags
3 tags
There goes my consistency.
So here I am at my millionth attempt at a blog.
[And I don’t put that lightly.]
Somehow, I always manage to make myself start over because I didn’t like where I was going. And that’s exactly what I did with my last one. It became too depressing and I was pretty much just going in circles.
That wasn’t what I wanted my blog to be.
But the thing is, I don’t know...